You are a cosmic identity
inhabiting a cooling sack of stars
Your stardust personae presses
through ancient constellations
inhabiting a framework of potential
You have chosen to colonize this matter
What will you do
with what you have been given?
Red Thread Letter #860
Do you ever wonder how you really got here?
Or wonder if your soul had a life before this one?
There are lots of stories and spiritual ideas,
but since most of them are different than one another,
can we really know? I mean as in ‘Truth’?
At this point in my journey, I feel I don’t know anything.
Truthfully, that feels almost like a relief.
Letting go of certainty is scary
yet deeply satisfying somehow too.
The quote above is constructed by me,
yet based on things my Teacher, Sue Hoya Sellars
said to me about her own paintings.
This is my most recent painting and that face and
eye were just ‘there’ so I let it stay and I am letting it
speak to me.
Yes, paintings do that, through consciousness.
Today I wanted to just come on over, and say
that I am thinking of you…
and that I am aware that so many of us
are in times of great change.
I am extending a hug right now…feel it?
We at Musea are really practicing quantum presence!
Practicing feeling love. Wanna try?
This love is real.
“Indigenous peoples have an understanding of quantum physics and quantum mechanics but just have different language for it. There is no end to the circle, it is actually the everything and the closely concurring nothingness. That place where time and space are moving through you, and you are the observer and the recipient of cosmic favor. Where is the jurisdiction of truth? It’s in the unfolding of the layers of our existence. And how much in this life can you handle, can you allow, can you embrace without fear? Because the opposite of fear is awakening, and so it is!” ~ Carmen Baraka
One of my very best friends and I were texting
and she said something like
“This is what kind of friend I am…I will stick with you”
And my response surprised me –
“I don’t know what kind of friend I am anymore.”
Of course, I want to stay together with my friends,
but things feel really different these days.
The majority of my best friends and closest colleagues
moved out of California in the past three years.
And my three Clanmothers are gone from this domain.
So, discovering friendship and community
in such a virtual context is a new thing, and I feel uncertain.
This is where grief is for me, and also, healing.
I feel uncertain because…
Because I want to have tea with you in person
Because my body doesn’t want to sit at this computer
Because I really dislike how the phone has 5g
and makes my face hot and spotted
Because my hands are tired from holding the phone.
Because our school and museum sits mostly empty
but I also feel uncertain because the ‘terrain’ of the world
feels unfamiliar to me.
I am truly grateful for my creative practice of Intentional Creativity
because I ALWAYS have a ‘go to’ to create transformation for
myself. Writing to you today – IS that love and longing in practice.
Times are different and how things will unfold isn’t clear for me.
I feel restless and like there is a vast wilderness inside of me
that is gaining ground, and taking up more space,
and I know very little about who I am becoming.
Yet today I am sitting with Sue’s ideas about ‘colonizing matter’
and spending time in deep inquiry about the personae that may
be inhabiting this ‘sack of stars’ at this point on my path.
Please know that you are not alone, precious being.
Sue lived in a big mountain by herself and she used to say,
“I never feel alone” and I thought that was such a revelation.
I am practicing not feeling alone, and inviting you to practice
feeling connected with me.
I just wanted to extend a red thread from the Red Thread Cafe.
You can order a copy of my book about the most significant part of the story of Intentional Creativity here.
and my last painting class of 2021 is here.