How DOES healing happen? I had my own experience with it this weekend with paint, pain and transcendence…
Painting by Shiloh Sophia: Sweet Compassion, 2008
The Healing Fields – Equinox
how does healing happen?
is it…forgetting a little at a time that which hurts
and waking up one morning just feeling a little bit lighter
is it…finally forgiving yourself and the world
by understanding, somehow, we are all wounded with you
is it…realizing that the world is whole after all or accepting
that the world is broken open and has need of your love
is it…noticing a whole day, week or month has gone by
without beating yourself up in the old ways
is it…realizing that this is just how it is right now
and somehow that it is oddly, unreasonably, not personal,
or about you at all, this is our human story
that we are creating together
is it…allowing shadow-work and light-work to co-exist without
striving for either one to be greater or better or good or bad
is it…being willing to lean into your resistances until
the edge of your hardened places creates tender spaces
is it…opening your heart, yes again and wider still, to a new face
a new heart, yes, a new chance even in the same life…
how does healing happen?
Excerpted from Tea with the Midnight Muse
On the day of the Frida workshop in New York I woke up in some back pain (bed/airplane/schlepping etc., the kind where you have a hard time walking. I immediately started talking to Frida and was like – ok – I know you were in pain when you painted, but this isn’t funny. I have to teach today.
As we loaded up and got into the car I was holding my breath and everything seemed like an assault – too many lights – too much noise – too bumpy – too much stuff to carry. And I was like – ok – I can’t go on like this – panic at the un-disco. As I rode along and tried to relax (ha) an idea arose inspired by Jonathan’s hand on my arm. I thought – I am receiving healing from his hand. I am receiving healing from this seat supporting me. I am receiving healing from my friend Emily who is going to help me today. I am receiving love from everyone coming to the gathering. I looked out at the snow covered trees and the light glistening off them – and said – that light is going into my body – supporting me. Then the people on the street, I sent love to the people and experienced they were also loving me back. I was even able to see the blinking signage and the sounds of traffic as all supporting me. For that space time, which was no time, I experienced transcendence. Tears filled my eyes and I just gave thanks. And of course – spent time in the zone with Frida as we worked our way through the day of exploring how art and healing informed her life, and ours as we study her.
I am a very intentional person as you likely know lol, and so I am in a chosen deep personal relationship with creation and all that is in it, including the paradox. So this subtle shift of not resisting what there was, choosing for it to not be an assault but instead, a blessing – was so tiny – at the level of micro – but suddenly it became everything. And while it only lasted in a blissful blink of a few minutes – my pain soon began to ease enough – and I was filled with enough gratitude for the rest – and I carried that connection with me all day – as I do right now. As a choice to enter into that space – consciously – and I share this story with you on the Equinox. I have done things like this before – but this was different somehow….
I have another few days here and tomorrow I will teach my version of feminine business at the United Nations CSW – an offering of love from my 25 years of experience in business led from the heart. I hope to share more on the Frida class in another email – but today I wanted to send you my blessings.
Photo of Emily and I at the Frida workshop in NYC on Saturday. Blessed to have beautiful co-leaders & teachers like Emily in my life!
May LOVE be at the CENTER of all CHOICES