Painting: Catalyze : A Portrait of Intentional Creativity by Shiloh Sophia
COMMENT ON FACEBOOK
Three Days Deep
On the last day of the year
the litter glittered doorstep
of New Year’s Eve shimmied me
I shrugged off an old coat
as it fell to the ground,
the garment did not cry out
Neither did I yell out:
Happy New Year!
I didn’t create resolutions
I chose to eat pink cake instead
with a group of many women
We spent the day speaking of pleasure
creating a map of sensation
I stepped out of the past
with no fanfare at all
except for a bottle of champagne
In fuzzy pajamas with my lover
sleeping soundly at midnight,
even the muse didn’t wake me for tea
on the last day of the year
On the first day of the year
unpacking a suitcase slowly
for a trip I didn’t take to a tropical island,
choosing instead my own bed
Knowing this suitcase will not soon be filled
feels good, a year of traveling ceases
I organize my clothes by color
Home is in the soles of my feet,
feet slippered in pink fur,
the smell of the sea is on my face
How I love to smell the morning
Home is where there is time like this
to fix a broken earring,
to repair the head of a broken idol,
stitch a torn dress from many moons
Move my flip flops to the back,
my cowgirl boots to the front
Winter’s feast has beckoned with pie,
A purple robe wants to be worn all day long
Candles everywhere that smell like gardens
The altars of everything are cleaned
a bouquet of calla lilies adorns my table
the fireplace and sleeping kittens say: rest
Home is where there is time like this
on the first day of the year
On the second day of the year
I make my studio ready
Studios are needed by all women,
a place where poetry and painting reign
I place my works in progress in piles,
books to read, journals to sort
student’s work to admire
paint colors collate into rainbows
brushes in order by size
a giant canvas on the easel
A canvas so big it scares me good
I say into the woven surface:
I will tend you,
will you tend me?
Just like that, I bow,
I bow to the canvas
as my teacher before my teacher
showed us
Is this canvas different than divine?
An icon of devotion where I empty prayers,
where I can go when I am on empty
to fill the cup of my communion
This is holy because I say so and
am so, devoted to this
Yet in this peaceful change of years
something unseen presses forth
Something that I want to give the gift
of language to
Waiting for my tongue to find it
Ah…
Here it is:
I have made patriarchy my boogeyman
He is always around the corner, lurking,
crushing, consorting, reminding me
“There is work to be done!
You WILL do this or else!”
I know the old coat I shrugged off
IS THIS
the battle within me is over
So, on this second day of the year
I tell God
this assignment is complete
Complete with fighting
the systems of man
infiltrating, dismantling,
even shaming ‘him’.
Not men, not boys,
rather the systems that teaches us
the divide and conquer riddles
Systems that keep us consuming
whatever it is they dish up
Scarcity is enforced
racism is spoon fed
the superior gender myth
Pick your poison, there are plenty
Or don’t
This is an old story seed for me
I know it because the women
they spoke of it
when I was knit together
in the womb, I knew
where I was coming and what
I was coming into
I wanted to be here
Through the fear
I rushed in on that full moon
Not crying
until they stabbed my foot
Then I yelled and I have not stopped
These 48 years
I have served at the altar of transformation
I have lifted up the reality of Mother and Earth
I have gathered the women
I belonged to every second given me
Now, I am done
I have a small
unstately funeral for patriarchy
Almost no one came,
not unlike the inauguration
(Later, patriarchy would claim:
It was well attended)
We didn’t serve cake
Then I wash my hands
on the second day of the year
On the third day of the year
enchantment knocked
I opened the door and conducted an interview
wanting to be sure about enchantment
Would this be as relevant as fighting systems?
I was assured that mystery would do more
than my rage against the machine could do
That the path of the mystic is most needed now
I feel suspicious of this promise at first
Leave it to me, to test enchantment
It comes from my nature as a watcher
of systems, any, systems
Looking back I see
the struggle to serve, to save,
to preserve was essential
My training for bliss began in the battle
Now I know what it means to lose
To really lose what you love
To fight and not be able to change outcomes
To be astonished at unanswered prayers
and be in love with the universe anyway
The next time I looked,
enchantment had already moved in
All my stuff was re-arranged
I can hear my lover making coffee
so I know I am home
Slipping into something
much more comfortable
on the third day of the year
Shiloh Sophia
Carmel, January 3
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 193:13
Getting my studio in Carmel ready for the year!
New Years blessings to you!
I am sending my love from where I am to where you are.
It helps me know where I am when I write and paint the changes, documenting what I am, where I am and how I am. My life is coded in word, image, color.
The above painting was finished as the last painting of 2018. It began with a process called Table to Canvas with Uma Joy, a healer and Intentional Creativity Teacher. She works with the body and then you go to to the canvas. When I was on her table, I saw an image, and that image became the seed of this painting. So I painted on it for one month.
The painting has to do with old systems being released and transformed, organically rising into new shapes. Nothing about the process is bad, but there is sloughing off, a pruning perhaps. There is an old giving way to new.
May creativity and self expression find their way into your life this year!
I made you a video – that says more of what I really want to say for my new years letter – it’s a simple process – links are below. You can listen and use pen and paper or add it to a painting you may be working with.
With a brush and pen in hand,
P.S. Here is a link to Uma Joy’s process, Table to Canvas if you are in the Oregon area – she is incredible.
I also wanted to share this Video from Dr. Martin Shaw
you might enjoy that is connected with this post somehow…
Creativity comes in many forms ~ Introducing Jonathan’s first vintage of Carneros Barbera
called Cosmic Cowgirls : Trouble. Cuz when they see us girls coming they say ‘Here comes trouble!’
So proud of his dedication! 99 vines all organic!
I had an amazing time teaching the Your Year of Pleasure Class
last Saturday with my dear friend, Lavender Grace!
Here are some photos from our day together.
Thank you to all who came and made this such a beautiful day!
For all events and classes visit www.cosmiccowgirls.com
May LOVE be at the CENTER of all CHOICES
