Red Thread Letter #881
Finding the missing piece of myself
This is a very personal share about where I am in my life right now as I do my best to look for the joy and magic in my every day… To read and comment in the Red Thread Cafe Classroom, go here.
Do you ever have these moments where you feel like a part of you was somewhere else? Then suddenly it drops in? You weren’t conscious of it being gone, or even that something was wrong.
Maybe you felt a bit ‘not quite yourself’. Or that the world has gone mad. Or that there is just so much trouble (and not the good kind). Maybe you were reacting to things in a different way. Or maybe you weren’t noticing the beauty in every day as you did before.
But then, suddenly you are here again. The part of you that was missing lands inside your body, heart, and mind! You’re like – OH! There you are, you little rascal! Where HAVE YOU BEEN?
Maybe the part of you that had gone missing has chocolate smeared on their face and a grin you can’t explain. Or maybe there are tear stains through the dirt on their cheeks. Perhaps their hair has grown longer and is all tousled as if after a long sleep. Or maybe, just maybe, they bring you a gift! But no matter how they show back up all of the sudden WHAMMMOOOOOOO you are in there. Have you ever had this experience?
This happened to me last night. I hoped when I woke up I would feel the same way. And I do. I was trying to tell Jonathan about it and go through it all in my mind – what it was exactly that made me come home late at night and want to water all the plants and speak to them again. Or had me look at the moon. Or had me strip the bed for clean sheets. Or had me look at this sunrise newly? I counted the blessings of my day…
A morning hug and cafe with Lissa felt like a big beautiful breakthrough in our ten+ year friendship. Maybe it was our supper club the night before with actual wonderful humans at our table after a long time of hardly any guests…
Maybe it was a wonderful financial meeting with our CFO where I put a sticker on my third eye as a joke giving myself credit for not making a guru-model personality brand that was all based on me. Maybe it was meetings with women I love, Uma Mulnick, Mary Ann Matthys, and Anne LaBrie – all leaders in our community. Maybe it was a wonderful conversation with Amber Samaya about our Museum.
Certainly, it was thinking about all we have done at www.musea.org and www.imusea.org. Maybe it was talking to Jennifer McEuen, a friend of many years about Visionary Muses art. Maybe it was connecting with Angela Isaacs about defending the Blessed Mother and the Black Madonna. Maybe it was connecting with Semerit Strachan about her incredible art and teachings.
Maybe… it was having time to go to the spa (gym), and while I swam, Jonathan brought me a green smoothie since I hadn’t eaten all day. Perhaps it was meeting with Nicole and Kina at Kina’s Kitchen and Bar to discuss Shiloh-style painting parties at the newly-named venue.
Maybe it was a nice hot day and having a romantic dinner with my love at the Girl and the Fig in Sonoma as I have done for over twenty years. Maybe it was connecting with one of my all-time besties Amy Ahlers and seeing her kiddos at Disneyland. Maybe it was messaging late at night with another super bestie, Shannon Thompson who always makes me laugh.
Maybe it was the joy of waking up knowing we are heading to a painting installation this morning of an original painting. Maybe it is being with people. Maybe it was having several memorials for my mom last week. Maybe it was messaging with my sister Laurel Davis about the placement of dad’s ashes. Maybe it was getting the rose oil blessing from Katherine Witteman.
YES, it was all of those things and the acknowledgment of their presence. Suddenly I was here. Phew, ya’ll. It was all of that. A full life, with people I truly love.
I am bubbling with joy and just letting it come into me and through me and sharing it with you. If a part of you has gone missing, you don’t have to just wait for it to come back – you can actually ask. Maybe you didn’t know like I didn’t know or just needed to hear this today.
Anyway, I wanted to say hello to each of you. My life continues to be very very complex and full in this cycle. Between the Musea Sonoma property, living in suitcases, the new gallery Musette Atelier and keeping it all flowing it is a lot. We lost our days off and are working 12-14 hours a day in the circle. Add the heap of grief from 2021 and my work with Ukraine – but here I am. Who knows what will come next.
Thinking of you all and sending love from my full heart to yours.